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[05 Mar 2016|11:31am]
posting for the sake of posting

i'm employed but it's boring and i work with a bunch of old people

gonna save up money for two years and work on starting a business...lol. yep.
1 this guy are sick!

[26 Nov 2014|02:02am]
[ mood | okay ]

i'm unemployed again but i am happy that i am. i was ready to kill somebody at my job.

let's see what's my next move is. lol...

are sick!

[11 Jun 2014|11:11pm]
hi is anyone here

edit: well i need a place to vent about mass effect 3. i knew the ending was gonna be bad but i didnt expect this. at least i had the extended cut. i cant imagine what it would have been like without it. i now agree that the plot in mass effect 2 was sort of meaningless. the choices...all mostly meaningless. still love the games though. im even considering reading the books...maybe some fanfic...lol. like i said, destroying the reapers is the only logical outcome, whether renegade or paragon...now i feel like i should play dragon age. idk i prefer science fiction but we shall see. honestly idk why i always play first as paragon default male shep. his voice is so boring compared to the girl's...and he uglier.  idk i play him as a pure, dumb, good angel. then i play the girl as a bad bitch.

speaking of fanfics...i am so tempted to write another chapter on a stupid story i wrote set in morrowind. lmao. i feel like if i do then it is evidence that i will never get laid. lmao idc. 10 years after chapter 1 and i think now i can make a pretty good story...yea rite. i should do it at least to practice my brain...i feel like im forgetting the english language.

omg this new keyboard is terrible             
are sick!

[17 Oct 2013|12:16am]
this year, on december 23, my livejournal will be 10 years old
are sick!

[15 Mar 2012|01:48pm]
quick updates.....joined the gym, going to disney soon i hope, bought a kindle, i am so over the hunger games, john carter is hot...
1 this guy are sick!

[03 Jan 2012|02:24am]
another year has passed. not much to say. no complaints i can think of. i guess that means i gotta make 2012 more exciting.
are sick!

[21 Jul 2011|12:47pm]
dream time

it was me and claudia and for some reason we got dressed really nice. i asked her where we were going and she said we were gonna go to a club to get some drinks. so we're both dressed in flowy long dresses. she goes up to a guy on a counter and said that we'd like to go in. the guy takes a good look at us and say 'sorry we're closed'. we were kind of like wtf. i follow her into the bathroom and i take a look at myself in the mirror. i say to her, 'you know why he said that right?' and she replies 'yeah whatever'. we decide to take a seat where some tables are inside the bathroom. pretty soon a bunch of people start coming in to take a seat with us. suddenly, it was no longer a bathroom, but a wide open space. i'm sitting in a table with my group of random people talking to them until one of the guys starts getting into a fight with a big girl at a table nearby. they end up getting face to face until the guy backs down.

by this time, claudia has disappeared. i go outside to what seems to be miami beach at sunrise. i find myself with boone (from the previous dream) and manny (mutual friend). we were figuring out where to go to next and manny is like 'ill take you to the city'. we go in manny's car, which was very small inside, at least for my fat ass. when i was able to get inside the car, we start driving toward 'the city a new place out of miami', although it looked like we were just going downtown. i told manny 'are you sure you know where you're going, looks like you're going downtown.' manny was like 'whatever, you'll see'. we eventually get out of the car and start walking. it was weird to see because the buildings looked european. sort of small buildings together, tight alleyways. the architecture was different than miami. we get to this museum, which told the history of undercover operations and spies. we go in and sit through the lecture along with a bunch of people. our robot (?) female tour guide was leading us as everyone moved in line formation. after the lecture, we go into some sort of 'spy' training. everyone is still in a line and we each have to go through a set of obstacle courses. i was ahead of both boone and manny. i do all the obstacles fine, since they were relatively simple. but we go up a flight of stairs towards a set of what looked like monkey bars going across. there was no safety net or nothing underneath. we were really high up. everyone else in front of me seemed to cross the monkey bars any which way they knew with no problem, but i froze in my tracks. the tour guide says something about how every spy needs to get across any obstacle, high or low. i was really scared to cross the monkey bars because they were really spaced out and there was nothing underneath in case i fell. i started to cry, saying i wanted to leave. everyone behind me were looking annoying, waiting for me to continue. i was too scared to move. then comes in this weird looking elf/fairy thing that gave me some words of encouragement. i forgot was he said, but his words were evidently so moving that i mustered up the courage to cross those monkey bars. they led towards a dark tunnel, into a dark and very wide room. i dropped down from the tunnel vent and landed on a trampoline. the room was very big, but the floors were made of iron grating with fans underneath and trampolines scattered about. the walls, which were black, had television screens. the tour guide came on the television and said with a slightly sinister voice that some sections of the trampoline room were dangerously hot and that we had to proceed with caution. this time i was strung up from adrenaline that i just jumped from trampoline to trampoline without giving a shit. i was so fast, i left boone and manny behind. until i got to the other room. the other room looked like a very large living room. it looked more like a furniture store because of the size. our goal here was to make it to the door without touching the floor of the place. we had to use furniture to climb on to move across the room. since i was the only one there, i start climbing on shelves that were against the wall. until i got like 1/4th of the way through the room, i hear a conversation between a dude that looked like billy zane and another one. billy zane said something about 'that boy harry potter' and how he needed to confirm that he is dead. i tried to stay hidden. before i could move anymore, i woke up.
are sick!

[04 Jul 2011|08:09pm]
last night i dreamed that i was washing my car (for some reason it was a silver beetle) in the backyard when suddenly a bunch of shirtless guys came around the house towards me and said hey. i was kinda nervous cause i didn't know any of them. i put down the water hose and they handed me an invitation to a party and told me that i should definitely come etc etc. i was actually flattered because here there were a bunch of guys wanting to me to go to a party. so i said okay. they soon started to keep walking toward the other corner of my house to leave. i leave my car there to go inside. my dad comes to me and says 'why did you let those people in? i told you not to leave the gate open because strange people could come inside!' i was like whatever. i look at the invitation and notice it was in the shape of some sort of envelope. i open it to see marijuana inside. i start freaking out because i was like wtf. apparently in my dream world marijuana was highly illegal, and in my dream world if some people give you marijuana hidden inside something else then it was a sign that the person who gave it to you was up to no good. i go back outside to see if the bros left. as soon as i open the door, i see the bunch of dudes taking off with my car. i start yelling at them and they are laughing at me. i immediately go inside and tell my dad that the guys are jacking my car. i go get the keys to my mom's car to try and run after them. i get in my mom's jeep and try to start the engine but it won't go. as i try to start it again i wake up...

here's another dream i had like a while ago that i keep forgetting to post. i forget some things but i know the main parts. boone* (not their real life name; a person i don't talk to no more) has an asian friend, let's call her lee. i get reluctantly invited to a club by lee since she's throwing a party. lee only invites me because i'm still kind of friendly to boone, and she has become great friends with boone. boone and i are kind of friends, but we fight a lot and get annoyed with each other. however, lee hates me because of 'the stress' i cause to her friend boone. too make boone happy, lee invites me. anyway. we're at the club. we're on the second floor of the dark place and there are lots of people dancing on the first floor. we go down a set of narrow stairs. i hang on to dear life as i'm going down the stairs because i'm wearing really high heels. we get to a sofa and sit down on it. lee goes away to bring food to us. she first brings food to boone, completely ignoring me. she had been giving me nasty looks and dismissing me the entire night, being rude and shit. i don't really care about it. boone starts to eat and i kind of start talking to him. i see lee coming up with another plate of food, which i thought she was gonna give to me. i stick my hands out as if to get the plate, but she drops the plate on purpose right in the middle of the couch between boone and i. it's all over the seats, but it didn't get on me. she says, 'oops' but she obviously did it on purpose so she could get me mad. it felt as though she did it as if to say to me 'there, eat it off the sofa.' i can feel people looking at me, waiting for a reaction. i felt kind of embarrassed because i couldn't think of what to say but then i yell out loud to her so everyone could hear me "LEE, OMG, WHY WOULD YOU THROW YOUR FOOD LIKE THIS, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU ATE LIKE THAT." everyone starts to laugh at lee, and i start to chuckle as i see her getting really mad and walking away. then i woke up.
are sick!

[02 Jul 2011|04:44pm]
I just had a chat with a porn IM spambot.

 lexboyben1978 3:11 pm

 lexboyben1978 3:40 pm

lexboyben1978 is available 4:29 pm
 lesdeuxit 4:29 pm

 lexboyben1978 4:29 pm
    Hey what's up? 23/F here. u?

 lesdeuxit 4:30 pm

 lexboyben1978 4:30 pm
    Hmm. Have we chattted before?

 lesdeuxit 4:30 pm

 lexboyben1978 4:31 pm
    Oh sorrrry. l waasnt sure. Butt anywayyyssss.. What r u up to?

 lesdeuxit 4:31 pm

 lexboyben1978 4:31 pm
    Oooo. lm Iike sooooo bored.
    Hey l got a idea.. lma get on my web-cam. Do u wanna watcch?

 lesdeuxit 4:32 pm

 lexboyben1978 4:32 pm
    Yeah? Ok u do have to siggnup for freee cause its settup thru this site so that l cant be recorrded. Ok?

 lesdeuxit 4:32 pm

 lexboyben1978 4:32 pm
    K babbe. lt's super simplIe
    http://access.im/7/nikki goo there then at the top of the pagge cIlick on the goIld buttton up at the top that says JOlIN FREE. K?

 lesdeuxit 4:33 pm

 lexboyben1978 4:33 pm
    AlIso when you signuup it wilI ask for a creddit card to veriffy your age.
    lt wiIl not charge the carrd at alI. Not even a pennny. Ilts just to make sure that u r over 18. AIriight?

 lesdeuxit 4:33 pm
    do you take american express?

 lexboyben1978 4:34 pm
    K. When you get finisshed and lIogged in then vieew my camm and we can have some fuuunnnn!!!

 lesdeuxit 4:34 pm
    i guess that's a no

 lexboyben1978 4:34 pm
    lf you tip me some goId or join me in privte l wilI do anythinng you ask me too.
    l mean ANYTHlING babe :-X

 lesdeuxit 4:34 pm
    is that true

 lexboyben1978 4:35 pm
    Iets taIlk on the site when you get in. Hurry up im ready to plIay.

 lesdeuxit 4:35 pm
are sick!

[10 Jun 2011|10:59pm]
i've had some really weird dreams that i forget to write about. i'll start writing about them soon enough.
are sick!

[04 May 2011|03:16pm]
still alive...on twitter.
are sick!

2010 - i forgot how to write and make sense at the same time [17 Jan 2011|12:57am]
it's been like half a month into the year and i realized i hadn't made a meaningful end-of-the-year post like i usually do every year. what can i say about 2010? i want to say it was a forgettable year, but i don't want to disregard some of the things that happened.

i lost a dog in april, which made me feel all sorts of sad.
i technically graduated from college in the summer, but walked in december. non-stop anxiety there.
i saw my own cousin graduate from high school, making me realize that my cousin is not the kid i always saw but an actual adult with new responsibilities within society.
i went to harry potter world before it opened, which made me both overjoyed and sad. overjoyed at seeing something i love, sad that i feel i might be getting too old for it.
i went to a disney water park for the first time. never did i feel so...peaceful laying on a giant pool donut, drifting in a lazy river.
i stood in traffic in atlanta. i plan to go there in my life.
i enjoyed the mountains of tennessee. felt lucky to have had the chance to see a pretty side of the usa.
became one with nature in las vegas. words can't expressed just how much i loved the nevada desert. it's so unlike florida. it was just very beautiful.
gained a new household member. i thought i would hate having her here. now i'm not so sure.
got trained for a random job. started that random job. sigh, responsibility.

at first i thought these experiences were pointless. i thought no one would really care about where i traveled or what's happened in my life. but since i bothered to list them i suppose they have their importance, though it's not very clear what that means. what makes an experience worth remembering? is it the setting, the time, the people you were with? or is it just the way you felt? one could say that it always a combination of those things that makes an experience unforgettable. this time, however, i think the importance of 2010's experiences was the feeling.

i think 2010 was a year where i started to become more aware of how i felt. didn't matter if it was good or bad feeling. it's so difficult trying to interpret what you feel. sometimes what you feel at a particular moment isn't what you really feel. sometimes you try to convince yourself to feel something that you can't. sometimes feeling just comes naturally. sometimes you regret having felt a certain way. and sometimes you aren't sure if you're capable of feeling at all.

nothing particular terrible happened to me in 2010, but the mind has a way in distorting everything negatively or positively, thus affecting how i  feel. maybe it's just my weird mind, but i wonder why i let a lot of things in my mind drive me crazy. why do i interpret things in a certain way, and why do those interpretations affect the way i feel? why do i let thoughts and feelings reach to a point where they become hard to contain? i can't explain myself...i guess i'll leave it at that.

i'm not sure what to say about 2010. perhaps graduating was an important event, and the anxiousness of it all makes 2010 a year of many unanswered questions, leaving 2011 as the opportunity to find the answers.
are sick!

[25 Nov 2010|10:14pm]
so much to be thankful for...and yet why do I sometimes find it hard to realize those things?
are sick!

[16 Nov 2010|01:11am]
updating jic, dont want lj to be deleting my shit

well, i guess i've moved my shit to twitter so you can read about my weird ass life there

might write about the occasional dream on here but otherwise this place'll be rather inactive
are sick!

[19 Oct 2010|01:48pm]
i'm trying to breathe...so that i don't pass out from this reality check....
are sick!

Writer's Block: Kanye West's Tweet Apology [12 Sep 2010|02:36am]
How do you feel about Kanye West admitting his past mistakes and apologizing to Taylor Swift on Twitter? Is he trying to win hearts back?

i love kanye. forever.
are sick!

[10 Sep 2010|03:34pm]
cant really do much with tumblr

what can i say that i havent already on twitter?
1 this guy are sick!

[29 Aug 2010|06:45pm]
i feel like tumblr is more evolved

are sick!

[29 Aug 2010|03:52am]
i will try to do tumblr again
are sick!

[15 May 2010|06:22am]
we took my little pelusa to the clinic so get her teeth checked. turns out she got periodontal disease and had to take out her infected teeth. poor thang. there goes 800 bucks but at least my dog will be more comfortable. now i'm stressing about ququ because she's got yellow stuff on her teeth although it's not as bad as how pelusa had it, and ququ's breath has not yet reached stank levels. but now i'm mad stressing because i don't want to go through the same thing with ququ. my mom found another dentist guy who cleans teeth for cheaper and i wanna take ququ asap and get her teeth checked/cleaned even if i have to pay it with my school money. clean your dog's teeth, everybody.

still no sign of my lost mota. there is this weird lady who lives a few houses down who has taken an interest in finding our dog because i guess she lost her dog too. she said she confronted a bunch of homeless dudes who live by the burger king here and they told her about another homeless dude who lives by 34th ave and 7 st who supposedly steal dogs from their homes in order to sell them. the lady said she confronted that dude and she feels that she has probably evidence that that guy most likely took our dog. so, whatever, me and my dad go to see that homeless guy. when we get there, it's a random gringo sitting on a mattress with a crackpipe in his hands, accompanied by a black stray dog. we ask the guy about our dog but he said he didn't see anything. we figure the lady fabricated a lot of her story 'cause the guy said he never spoke to a lady. but who are we gonna believe, a weird lady or a homeless drug guy? whatever.

idk what to say. it's been a month i think. i guess we can post signs on these random apartment buildings by us and hopefully enough people see them before they get taken down. a number of signs that we've posted up have been removed, so that is a problem. i would think that after a month, the people who may have mota might claim her as their own already.

did rather okay this semester in school. i didn't fail that history class after all, which is good. this summer might be my last semester and i have no idea what i wanna do! gotta think...
1 this guy are sick!

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